It has been a little over a month and I’m still wearing
jeans but I have not lost a lot of weight (I have not gained either so I’m
putting this under the win column). Some
of it is food choices, some of it is body chemistry (getting backed up…) some
of it is stress.
Counseling is helping (a lot) but it is also showing me how
much I stuffed down with food. Now that
I am trying not to do that anymore I am left to face what I have run away from
for so long. I know that I can’t share
the specifics with anyone (my choice) but learning to face what I don’t want to
face is… I’m not sure if I can even find the words to say what it means to be
fully truthful, even if it’s just with one person (yourself).
Letting out what you have held in for so long
is very freeing. It is no longer something
I need to hide from myself. I can acknowledge
it and move on.
I’m going to be 43 this year and maybe should have done this
earlier in my life but I can’t roll back the clock. I can only move forward and be comfortable
with the choice I make for me. This is
scary as all my life choices I made where made with others in mind. Don’t get me wrong I will still put the ones
I Love first as I think it’s who some of us are but there are people who I no
longer need to make my choices around.
We are all adults and living for me is new and still stumbling thru what
works best but I know I am loved and that helps me learn to love me.
