MOVING FORWARD

Moving forward is two simple words that should be the easiest thing to do yet this is the hardest for a lot of us.  We know what we need to do to be where we want to be yet starting or keeping up what needs to be done eludes us.

Moving on to change your life or moving on to change a relationship are easy to do on paper and in our minds but when that plan is put into practice it can seem over whelming and frustrating when you don’t see the results when you want to see results.

For me it’s the weight loss… I know what I need to do but that impetus keeps eluding me.  I can feel it… its right there and I’m reaching out for it but keep knocking it just out of reach with my finger tips as I try to grab for it.

I am going to try something different this year… I am going to not so much reach for it as I am going to let it come to me.  I will move forward with my life and each day chose to be me.  Not what I think others want me to be.  Or who I think others will like but just plain ole me. 

I might not say the right thing or react to something how people think I should react but I will know that I am acting as me.  It is great to reach for something and push yourself but if you are always hanging on the edge trying to reach what is just out of reach then you are not able to move forward to what is trying to be achieved as you are hanging on the ledge.

Just making sure that you are moving forward I think will be the right move for me… Keeping in mind what I want and need… Living consciously will bring what I want closer to me and able to put it within reach.

Yep 2012 will be an amazing year and I know it will be as I choose it to be and will be moving forward every day!

Happy New Year's Eve...

So today is New Years Eve and the marking of another year gone by.  Looking back a lot has happened this year for me.  Some good, some bad, but all very much needed to get me to where I am... Right here, Right now is a place that I am enjoying very much.  I have a few plans for 2012 and know that I will need to make them happen with the steadfastness I have in me. 

I am praying for all the ones I love that they have a Very Happy and Healthy New Year and know how much they are wanted and appreciated in my life! :o)

PERIPHERAL VISION

Early morning coffee with a Friend today the subject of Peripheral Vision came up.  I was saying the reason I don’t care for glasses are because I am not able to use my peripheral vision and he countered with most people don’t use theirs.

I gave him the “Awe sweetie you don’t know me very well do you?” look and told him that I definitively use my peripheral vision and have all my life (fined tuned it thru the years). 

As he really doesn’t know me very well he (understandably) doubted me maybe just thinking I was being funny or trying to impress him.

Having given me a little test he was surprised when I was able to see him (holding up two fingers) too what he thought would be just outside my peripheral vision without moving my head.  I was able to see one finger then could tell, by how he was holding his hand (thumb holding down two fingers) that there was only one other finger next to the one I could see.

Again surprised by my super awesome abilities (paraphrasing of course…lol) that I was able to see I told him (maybe have been a bad thing saying anything) but told him as a fat girl I learned not to move my head when I heard people making rude noises directed towards me (Mooooo) or just blatantly making fun of me.  I learned to see who it was without moving my head or body so I knew who to avoid.

Saying this out loud I thought made me sound a little bit “sad” in so far as I’m a 36 year old woman who still has people making cow sounds around her and that these sounds still get to me.

Yes I should have a tougher skin and not care as these people are just being jerks and if they bothered to get to know me they of course would love me ;o) but then listening to how he stood up for himself, his family and others who were being picked on around him made me think of why I don’t have a tougher skin.

I’m “emotional” for lack of a better word and “feel” in me others disappointment they have for who I am.  Growing up I had awesome parents and family that of course would support me and made me feel loved but I never had that someone stand up for me (fight my fight if you will). 

I (like I am sure countless others) have had to and still do find ways to avoid confrontation… i.e. we don’t talk back or physically hit the person or people who are making fun of us or causing (whether they know it or not) emotional damage.  Always being aware and having to protect yourself is exhausting and really can wear a person down over time. 

Now this may seem like I am saying “Awe poor me, I’ve had such a tuff life because people make fun of me” but please don’t read it as such. 

What I am trying to convey is and what this whole conversation made me realize is 1. I still need to suck it up and not be so emotional… but 2. I maybe as an Adult don’t need to keep thinking of how I need to protect myself but open myself up more… Move my head around, flash my pearly whites, smile at those who are being jerk faces…  Show them (and myself) that using the old coping (knee jerk) mechanisms needs to stop and I need to get out of my own “Peripheral Vision” and know that the world is not as scary as I sometimes feel it is…

POSITIVE QUOTE OF THE DAY

POSITIVE QUOTE OF THE DAY

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I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.

-- J.B. Priestlet (1894-1984) English Author

I think this is a great quote and works well with the drive to work today (see picture below).  The clouds hiding the sun and then it peaking thru… hinting of what magic is out there waiting to happen.  It is a new day and a new foot forward how can that not just be one of the best things out there that we are able to enjoy! 

Randomness Thy name is Beth…

Ok so I’ll be moving in a couple of months (closer to Friends and work but still NH) and I’ve been going thru something’s.  I found old mixed CD’s… Yes I still do mix CD’s as I am not cool enough to have an IPod that will play in my car :op

Anyways I thought I would share the last six songs on the CD I was listening to on my way to work today.  I love the randomness that sometimes just fits me so well it’s no scary per-say more of a “God I love the way the Universe works” type of deal… So from Country, to Hip-Hop, to Soft Rock, to Dance, to Folk (oh yeah I run the gambit baby) the order of the songs below I realize that the randomness is how my heart and soul talks to me thru music (even if I don’t know what I’m saying at the time).

Alabama - I'm In A Hurry - is me telling me to slow down and giving me permission to enjoy the daily routine and see what happiness is there but that I don’t see sometimes because I am rushing around. 

Fort Minor - Remember the Name - is giving me a kick in the tuches and reminding me that I… Me… is the one who needs to work for the changes I want to have happen. 

Don Henley – End of the Innocence - is a way of saying that “yes” life is not always the sunshine and rainbows I wish it to be and once the luster of someone or something is gone doesn’t mean that it is ruined for ever just means that I need to find the beauty in what is really truly there.  

Rascal Flatts – Broken Road – is… well this song just makes my heart melt and know that there is true love out there and when the time is right we’ll meet and I’ll know that there was no other path I could have taken to where I need to be… Right here… Right now.

Fragma - Toca's Miracle - is a song that reminds me of my early twenties but listening to the words the miracle that I need is the miracle that is the love I have for myself that will be mirrored but the Man who truly loves me and I in turn feel for him.  It’s not the physical “parting of the red seas” miracle I need but the emotional connection that I have always know I want from others. 

Jonathan Edwards - Sunshine – is, well I know this song is about drugs but for me it is more of a reminder that sometimes I need to lock myself away and just recharge.  Sunshine I love you but the darkness is needed (every now and again) to remind me how bright the Sun truly is…

Music can move us in ways we never thought possible and give us the freedom to express our hearts desires even if it is done on a subconscious level… Our heart and soul dances to the music and moves us where and how we should move to make our lives richer.

A Snow Globe Christmas

Merry Christmas... I'm looking out my window and it looks like a snow globe with the little snowflakes just wafting to the ground :O)
Have a Very Merry Christmas to my wonderful Friends and Family. Hope your snow globe day is all you want it to be! 

Undeniable Truth I am a little kid always and forever at heart!

Ok sooooo last minute I was Christmas shopping this morning in CVS (needed stickers for cards and candy canes) walking down the aisle to the sticker location (yes I know exactly where the stickers are…lol) out of the corner of my eye I see this…

Now if you don’t know what this is it is a Sing-a-ma-jigs!  I found out about Sing-a-ma-jigs because of Meg (heart Meg!) who turned me on to the Vlogbrothers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlogbrothers) who have done a few things with the Sing-a-ma-jigs in their Vlogs plus the Vlogs are very funny and smart (but I’m digressing). 

Anyways I knew when I saw the Sing-a-ma-jigs out of the corner of my eye that I would be buying one!!

So I go over and check them out, press the little hand (changes the mode  of the Sing-a-ma-jigs) then squeeze the tummy  (to make ‘em sing!) and basically make a fool of myself because I’m laughing and giggling like a little kid. 

I buy the purple one (of course) and off to work I go.  A little skip in my step excited to share this with everyone at work who I know will get a kick out of it. 

I wait (patiently like an adult…lol) till I hear Meg at her desk.  I go over and pop the Sing-a-ma-jig over the wall so she can see it.  I press the tummy and I guess scare her almost out of here chair… Oops not my intention to scare but had to share…lol

I go around the wall and apologize (because again… I am an adult) but share all the wonders of the Sing-a-ma-jigs and how it will amuse me for hours on end…lol

Then I wait for Renee and Mo… well Mo was a jerk…lol and said that “yeah these have been around a while”… Renee hit him and told him that he needed to be more excited for me…lol  Yes we are all adults in our mid 30’s but well again we are friends because we have the same sense of dorkyness…lol

Any waaaaays the long and the short of this whole rambling is that the fact this little toy (which really is just super cute and fun to annoy people play with) can make me feel like a little kid in and of its self might seem… well like I just need to get a life but the truth of this speaks to the heart of it all and that is the excitement of sharing something that you find neat with others in your life who will enjoy it also.  That excitement you felt as a kid when you just had pure joy in your heart for whatever you were doing or whoever you were with and wanted to share that excitement with them is just truly a very neat feeling.    

As we get older there are more stresses on our lives that sometimes drown out that excitement so we try to reclaim it with what we think will makes us happy but sometimes has the opposite affect and we end up with a hallow feeling.  So my suggestion for today is if you need to feel that feeling of giddy excitement just try sharing yourself and what you enjoy with those around you to feel that joy that your inner child wants you to feel always!!

Oh and get a Sing-a-ma-jig…lol