The proverbial weight really does lift.

It truly is amazing what happens when you admit that you need help, and then start asking for that help.  The proverbial weight really does lift from your shoulders and you feel lighter.  The help isn’t always from people that you know.  Some of us do not have the support network of Friends and Family who we can ask for help from, but knowing you are worth it and then can admit to yourself you need help is the first step of “Today starts today”.  Tomorrow will come when it does but today what is it that you need help with?

Today starts today

Starting really is the hardest part...  The time leading up to your actual start is filled with doubt, doubt, and more doubt.  As everyone is different each of our “starts” will look different from the others person start.

My start happened a few weeks ago with admitting that I need help and then asking for help.  The help I needed as my start was in the form of a shorter commute.  My manager is an amazing person who was very kind and let me work closer to home 4 days a week.  I used to have a three hour round trip commute three days a week and after two years it showed me that I cannot get healthy with losing three hours a day form a majority of the week.

It was very hard for me to ask for help, I have always had the mindset that if I was strong enough I could do it without having to bother anyone.  One of my big issues is that I always feel like I’m bothering people.  It drives my boyfriend crazy as he’ll try to do something for me and I’ll tell him never mind don’t worry about it.  I think I have control issues and if I keep people from doing things for me than I can control what effort I can give back.  Not that I don’t want to give back.  The opposite if I could give all I would it’s just that I am so down on myself I talk myself out of helping and now that I’m older and have gained all my weight back plus more I just feel awful all the time.  Physically and Mentally.  One of my best friends commented the other day that I was happier when I was thinner and I felt really bad that he could see my pain.  I thought I was good at hiding my bad stuff but as I get older I realize people can see thru the smile; it’s never fake, I love life and all those around me but carrying an extra 200lbs around will take it out of a person.

I hurt all the time and I have been walking with a cane for almost a year, plus I just found out that my boyfriend is more concerned about my health than I realized.  He doesn’t see me as healthy (which in all fairness I’m not) but if he doesn’t feel like he can count on me then I feel really bad that he has to be concerned about what happens if I die.

I won’t go into my whole back story of how I got to here but I’m here and I don’t want to be.  I want to be mobile, I want to be the Lover, the Friend, the Family member that can be counted on and not the person who needs a chair wherever she goes because I can’t stand for more than two minutes.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but it is a little less scary because I’ve started. And stating is the hardest part. 

Things like this is why I know that goodness will always win out over hate…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY


Things like this is why I know that goodness will always win out over hate… Laughter and smiles is the only cure for those who have darkness in them… Let your freak flag fly and you will see it is not the only one enjoying the dancing wind!!

POSITIVE QUOTE OF THE DAY

It is a hard rule of life, and I believe a healthy one, that no great plan is ever carried out without meeting and overcoming endless obstacles that come up to try the skill of a man's hand, the quality of his courage, and the endurance of his faith.

-- Donald Douglas (1892-1981) American, Founder Douglas Aircraft Company, later McDonnell Douglas

POSITIVE QUOTE OF THE DAY

What we need to discover now in the social realm is the moral equivalent of war; something heroic that will speak to man as universally as war does, and yet will be as compatible with their spiritual selves as war has proved to be incompatible.

-- William James (1842-1910) American Philosopher and Psychologist

What would you have done and how would you have gone about accomplishing your goals in that situation?

When we criticize people for any reason we lose sight of what it means to be part of humanity and build a society. Our first question should always be “What would you have done and how would you have gone about accomplishing your goals in that situation?” By asking this question and being able to provide a compressive answer we build and add instead of just subtracting and destroying. I just read an article on ABCNEWS about Hillary Clinton and what she feels about media today. I thought her response was fine and as it is an opinion she has every right to it. What bothered me though were the responses in the comment section. I feel everyone has a right to their opinion but all I ever read are complaints, I never see anyone offering constructive criticisms or another option other than “the way you did it was wrong”. There is no one right answer and the steps to accomplish hard tasks are never easy but some easy things we all can do is to ask a simple question, then listen (truly listen) to others responses and then be able to provide our own point of view. We are all on this big rock hurling thru space… If you can’t enjoy the ride then step out of line and stop blocking others who want to.

Happiness it is all within you

It struck me today (sitting at a red light before I turn into work) that we as people act how we want to be perceived. Whether we are truly perceived that way or not our outwardly actions and appearance is who/how we want to be perceived by the world. I’m going to jump around here so bear with me, but the reason this struck me as interesting (if not a “well duh” moment) is that I realized in this realization that we are in control of our own happiness and that others cannot make us happy. What makes us happy is being able to be our selves around others and be seen for who we are and who we want to be. We don’t always get this from people in our lives due to whatever circumstance but when we do have that look of love if you will it is truly amazing and can clear your mind to show you how you really are in control of your own happiness. You can just be happy with being yourself because you know you are accepted and loved for being you. I just think this is amazing and a wonderful feeling that I hope all are able to experience in their lives and hold onto so they know that just being them is what will truly make them happy.